| |
| |
|
Go Back | About | Contact | Web Design News | |
|
|
|
Resolve Conflict In 6 Easy Steps - The BEDROL Method
The principles of Negotiation can work for you in any situation, but often people ask me, "Well, its often a fact that conflict happens unexpectedly. What if I don't have time to prepare? Can negotiation skills be used on the spur of the moment?" The answer is YES. The principles of Street Negotiation were created and battle-tested on the streets and it's power lies in its ability to be used to resolve any conflict anytime. Conflict can be resolved in six easy to learn steps, acronymed as BEDROL(TM). That is: Back-up plan, Emotional control, Defusing their anger, Reframing, Options, and Letting them choose their fate. Step 1--Back Up Plan. Having a back-up plan before you step into a conflict is absolutely crucial. Police officers sometimes are so accustom to having people do as they say, they become complacent and fail to have a plan B ready in case the person doesn't want to comply. An unfortuanate number of police officers have been killed in the line of duty because they didn't know what to do once the subject refused to comply with their demands. Their lack of a back-up plan made them freeze up, giving the suspect enough time to overpower them. By having a plan B in your pocket prior to dealing with any conflict, you can remain confident that you can still move forward even if your negotiation fails. Remember that your plan B is your best solution that you can come up with on your own without having to talk with your counterpart. For the hostage negotiator, this could mean using the tactical team to take control by force. For two angry neighbors, this could mean going to court. Your plan B gives you the confidence to deal with your counterpart and the ability to move forward, whether you reach an agreement with them or not. Step 2--Emotional Control Your anger is the biggest challege towards resolving the conflict peacefully. You need to control your anger by separating the person from the problem. Have pity on the person for attacking you because their real anger lies in the problem, not with you. View the situation rationally without allowing anger into the equation. You always have to remember that if you react with anger-then you've lost the battle. Step 3--Defusing their anger The other obstacle to overcome is your counterpart's anger and frustration. These emotions are blinding them from seeing things rationally. Their primary focus is that they were wronged and now they want retribution-often from you. Think of their emotions like a pressure cooker on a stovetop. There are two ways of releasing the pressure: (1) you can pop the lid and the have the contents explode out of the pot from the sudden change in pressure, or (2) you can engage the pressure-release valve and slowly let that steam pressure out of the cooker which will enable you to open the lid without injury. The same is true for an angry person. You want to hit their pressure release switch by using active listening skills. Listen and acknowledge this concerns. Engage them in empathetic responses by trying to walk around in their shoes. Paraphrase back to them what they told you in your own words. You will see a dramatic difference in their level of hostility as they get to vent their anger. Step 4--Reframing Now comes the time when you must reframe their position into interests. Do this by first reframing them from an enemy into a partner. Then reframe all their personal attacks on you back on the problem. Then finally, uncover their interests behind their demands with nonconfrontational questions. Step 5--Options Discuss options with them and get them involved in the process of thinking about possibilities for a solution. You might have to present some various options that they have available to them. Strive for a cooperative effort to find mutually-satisfying options that will benefit both parties. Step 6--Letting them choose their fate Empower your counterpart with the choice to make their own fate. Don't back them into a corner by telling them what to do. Human beings need control over their own life, otherwise they feel threatened. Let them pick the option that you both have discussed. If they still fail to comply at this point then ask them what the possible consequences are if no agreement can be made. As a last resort, use your back-up plan as an alternative to the negotiation. Tristan Loo is an experienced negotiator and an expert in conflict resolution. He uses his law enforcement experience to train others in the prinicples of defusing conflict and reaching agreements. Visit his website at http://www.streetnegotiation.com
MORE RESOURCES:
SEO - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Negotiation: A Compromising Position Negotiating is a hot topic these days for a good reason. It is difficult to imagine a more vital managerial skill than the skill of negotiating. Power Pricing - Getting the Right Price for Your Products and Services There's an old joke about the New York City blackout. Power was out everywhere, and the electric company couldn't figure out what was wrong or how to fix it. Negotiate Like a P.R.O. Whether you're negotiating a peace settlement in a war-torn country or a peace settlement in an argument-ravaged relationship, strong preparation is the key to success.The following three steps will help you establish the three keys to your preparation - why you are involved in the negotiation, how you intend to conduct the negotiation, and what are the specific outcomes you are hoping to agree upon. The Six Rs for Changing MInds and Overcoming Resistance This article borrows from Howard Gardner's book, "Changing Minds" (2004). In order to get people in conflict to cooperate or collaborate sufficiently to settle or resolve their differences, and perhaps achieve reconciliation, it is necessary that they change their minds. Win-Win Power Negotiating Let's talk about win-win negotiating. Instead of trying to dominate the other person and trick him into doing things he wouldn't normally do, I believe that you should work with the other person to work out your problems and develop a solution with which both of you can win. How To Make An Inflexible Bureaucrat See You As A Person Inflexible Bureaucrats Are Characterized by:1. Cares little about your happiness in life2. Guidelines for Ambassador Appointments Ambassadors to other countries are a vital part of international relations. It is not uncommon for an ambassador to be the face or image of one country to another. Better Internal Proposals A colleague of mine has a problem. We belong to the same association and he's been trying for quite some time, without success, to get support for one of his proposals. National and Cultural Negotiation Style Cultural and national negotiation styles reflect communication behaviors and the priorities of that culture. Priorities such as trust, teamwork, non-confrontational situations, and openness are all along a sliding scale with each culture. Just Ask! Ask and you shall receive & knock and it shall be opened &send an email and see what happens.As a student of personal finance you are probably familiar with the advice to negotiate with your credit card companies to get a lower interest rate. Avoiding and Accomodating in Negotiation The avoiding approach to negotiating is characterized by losing, leaving, and withdrawing. No commitments are made, and behavior is impersonal. How Barter Can Help Your Business Online or Offline How Barter Can Help Your BusinessBarter trade is a powerful instrument that represents a solution for companies with available stock or services. By accepting payment in trade money instead of cash, a business maximizes their efficiency by increasing stock turnover or billable hours. Negotiating Technology Contracts Have you ever tried to negotiate a deal for software, computer equipment, or consulting services with a technology company? The task can be daunting. Unfortunately, the sales forces of most IT companies are armed to the hilt with techniques to get the best deal for them, and not necessarily the best deal for you. Cross Cultural Negotiations Cross cultural negotiation is one of many specialized areas within the wider field of cross cultural communications. By taking cross cultural negotiation training, negotiators and sales personnel give themselves an advantage over competitors. Resolve Conflict In 6 Easy Steps - The BEDROL Method The principles of Negotiation can work for you in any situation, but often people ask me, "Well, its often a fact that conflict happens unexpectedly. What if I don't have time to prepare? Can negotiation skills be used on the spur of the moment?" The answer is YES. Managing Conflict, in Life & Work: Using Ancient and Modern Approaches "Conflict" is a word that can have varying degrees of severity, meaning, and implication for each individual or circumstance. For example, the conflict that is experienced in our current, daily lives seems insignificant in comparison to the Samurai, or those in war, who faced death on a regular basis. Negotiating Tactics: Don't Let 'Good Guy - Bad Guy' Control the Sales Negotiation Counter one of the classic negotiating gambits by addressing it directly.You've assembled a brilliant sales proposal for a new client and when you arrive to the meeting to hammer out the final details, you suddenly find yourself sitting across the table negotiating with two people. Barter and Its Benefits What is Barter?Barter involves 2 parties. Each party wants to trade with each other and instead of exchanging cash for products or services, the exchange is carried out with products or services that each possesses. Embarrassed To Discuss Your Prices? Seven Common Reasons We Cant Talk About Them Last week, a wonderfully-skilled electrician installed a new light fixture for us. He was competent, courteous and efficient. Ask for More - You May Get More If you are involved with sales, how do you feel when you hear phrases such as, "Can you do anything about your price?" or, "You'll have to do better than that." and variations on these? Does a cloud or two cross the sun? You start to think, "here we go again?.
|
ChicagoAnimation's Acquisitions: Market Polls - 1pennyStock.com
Sponsors: Paving | VTL's | Religious Statues
