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Top 10 Ways to Maximize Your Approachability
After reading and researching thousands of books, articles and other resources on communication, first impressions, networking and conversation, I've learned one thing: none of them address what approachability means. Or maybe they just don't take the time to define it, stress its importance and offer suggestions on how to maximize it. That research was my impetus for writing The Power of Approachability. I wanted to give people a clear picture of what the idea meant, along with many small tips and suggestions to put that idea to use - one conversation at a time. So, straight from the pages of the book, here are my Top Ten Ways to Maximize Your Approachability. Ready to Engage Although this article will address both sides of the street, here's an example of the former. When you arrive at a meeting, event, party or anywhere in which many conversations will take place, prepare yourself. Be "ready to engage" with conversation topics, questions and stories in the back of your mind ready to go as soon as you meet someone. This will help you avoid those awkward "How's the weather" type of discussions. CPI A great tip is to ask the right type of questions. Similar to our first example, "ready to engage," you don't want to ask people about the weather. You can do better than that! Instead, ask questions that begin with "What's your favorite?" "Tell me the best?" or "When was the last time?" The CPI is almost guaranteed to be discovered. Flavored Answers A great technique is to offer a Flavored Answer to a Fruitless Question. Instead of "fine," try "Amazing!" "Any better and I'd be twins!" or "Everything is beautiful." Your conversation partner will instantly change his or her demeanor as they smile and, most of the time, inquirer further to find out what made you say that answer. Because nobody expects it. And offering a true response to magnify the way you feel is a perfect way to share yourself with others, or "make yourself personally available" to others. Don't Cross Your Arms As a result, people won't want to "bother" you. They will form the impression that you are defensive, nervous, judgmental, close minded or skeptical. Honestly, would you want to approach someone like that? I know I wouldn't. Don't Assume Remember, just because someone walks in whom you've never seen before - doesn't mean he's new. Or just because you're at a networking meeting - doesn't mean everyone in attendance has a job. And believe me, not everyone you remember - remembers you. Approachability is a function of comfort, so it's important to sidestep these moments of embarrassment with Success Sentences. These are phrases that allow the other person to offer you're the information you need to know. Examples include, "I'm not sure we've met before," "What are you working on this week?" and "I'm Scott, we met last month at the Chamber meeting." Options for Communication A good idea is to give people as many options to contact you as possible. There's nothing more annoying to a "phone person" than when she discovers she can't get a hold of you unless she emails you. Email Signature Think of it this way: have you ever received a handwritten letter from someone that had no return address stamped on the envelope? Always Have Business Cards If not, you've no doubt missed out on valuable relationships and opportunities. And it happens - people forget cards, get their supply reprinted or change jobs. But the bottom line is; there is a time and place for networking: ANY time and ANY place. Because you just never know whom you might meet. No Fear This is the number one reason people don't start conversations. However, practice will make this fear fade away. The more you often you start conversations, the better you will become at it. So, be the first to introduce yourself or say hello. When you take an active instead of a passive role, your skills will develop and there will be less of a chance for rejection. Also understand the gains vs. losses. For example, what's so bad about a rejection from someone you don't even know? Wear Your Nametag Your nametag is your best friend for several reasons. First of all, a person's name is the single context of human memory most forgotten. And people are less likely to approach you if they don't know (or forgot) your name. Secondly, it's free advertising for you and your company. Third, nametags encourage people to be friendly and more approachable. TRUST me on that one! © 2005 All Rights Reserved. Scott Ginsberg is a professional speaker, "The World's Foremost Expert on Nametags" and the author of HELLO my name is Scott and The Power of Approachability. He helps people MAXIMIZE their approachability and become UNFORGETTABLE communicators - one conversation at a time. For more information contact Front Porch Productions at http://www.hellomynameisscott.com.
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