| |
| |
|
Go Back | About | Contact | Web Design News | |
|
|
|
Spasms & Spamocidal Mania
Below is a letter I wrote to the following organizations: S.H.U. (Spam-Haters Unanimous) N.A.A.P.W.H.S. (National Association for the Advancement of People Who Hate Spam) P.W.H.P.W.D.H.S. (People Who Hate People Who Don't Hate Spam) P.F.W.S.H.I.A.L.C. (People for Whom Spam-Hating is a Lifestyle Choice) S.A.P.W.R.R.R.H.S. (Society for the Advancement of People Who Really Really Really Hate Spam) P.W.H.S.S.M.I.M.L.W.S.C.O.T.E. (People Who Hate Spam So Much It Makes Little Wisps of Steam Come Out of Their Ears) And, of course: Spam Haters In The Business of Internet Resource Directory Services. DEAR FELLOW SPAM HATERS, I'm writing to suggest that we combine forces in order to present a common front in our righteous war on unsolicited commercial email: Spam! I suggest we disband the myriad sites and organizations now opposing unsolicited commercial email in order to form a single, unified organization: The Spammish Inquisition! And I further suggest we elect me, Linda Cox, as our leader. Our Grand Inquisatrix! WHAT ARE MY QUALIFICATIONS? You think YOU hate spam? You don't even know what hate is! I hate spam so much that I... well, just a LOT! That's how much! If I hated spam any more than I already do, I think my head would burst into flames and spin like a top! Can you say that? Don't think so. I don't mean to say that I don't hate other things too, like pedophiles and nazis and that drunk guy who backed over my cat when I was seven. But spam... hooboy! SQUISH 'EM LIKE BUGS! I believe we should have a constitutional amendment allowing cruel and unusual punishment in the case of spammers. Maybe that tummy thing like the Japanese do when they get depressed. As with drugs, mere possession of bulk emailing software should result in the immediate confiscation of the computer it was on, as well as any nice clothes, jewelry, or lawn statuary that might have been purchased with spam profits. Just thinking about sending spam should be illegal, like joking about bombs in an airport. If I get to be Grand Inquisatrix, I'll have my own force of men-in-black dudes to sniff out spamsters and be really mean to them and call them names until they promise to be good little netizens again. It's for their own good. IN CLOSING... Having looked at the websites of some of the anti-spam crusaders, I know that I am not alone in my revulsion, disgust and utter skin-crawling contempt for spam. Like them, I have turned a blind-eye to more mundane problems like hunger, illiteracy, disease, country music and poverty so as to focus on the true menace ravaging our cyber-society. If you wish to support my crusade, you may do so by sending me $99, and as a free gift I'll send you a CD with the email addresses of 40 million netizens eagerly awaiting news of your latest product or service. Linda Cox, G.I.W. (Grand Inquisatrix Wannabe) P.S. Oh yeah... stale croutons. Hate 'em. About The Author Linda Cox (J.A.M.G.) was born in a speeding stagecoach amid the screams of fellow passengers as insane, wild-eyed horses dragged them all crashing toward the brink of destruction. That stagecoach was the planet Earth, those passengers were the human race, and Linda Cox is Just Another Marketing Guru. (The horses were just regular horses.) http://www.LindaCox.com/
MORE RESOURCES:
Spam-Blocker - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Stop Spam: How To Escape The Spam Hell-Hole If you're anything like me, you're pretty sick of it, and just want it to stop. What? Spam, of course. Is Spam Affecting Your Business Email? 5 Ways Spam Is Affecting Your Business And what we can alldo to prevent it.If you had only just got online, and received your firstfew emails, you may be forgiven for thinking you had hitpaydirt. Spam - How to Report it I'm sure you find spam just as frustrating and annoying as I do.So I've done some investigation in how to report it to get thesepeople hopefully in a bit of strife! And put spam to an end or atleast lessen it ;-)You see, I actually didn't realize for a while I was actuallymaking the situation worse. What SPAM Means: Stupid People Annoying Me English, German, Italian - It's All SPAM To MeHas anyone else noticed the sudden blast of unsolicited e-mail (spam) loaded with url's for the unsuspecting and curious Internet surfer to click on?What's even better, the bulk of this SPAM is in a foreign language. I was at a neighborhood party this weekend and you can't imagine the number of people who asked me for assistance with this. Learn Simple Strategies That Will Stop Spammers From Bombarding Your Inbox! Spam filter is the solution that most people resort when they try to steam the flood of junk mails and spam.However, there is a problem!First: Some spam will still get through. Anti Trackback and Comment Spam Methods What is spam ? Spam is text or URL, in one or several exemplars, neither being waited nor wished, not having, neither directly nor from its shipper, no relationship neither with the recipient nor with a possible resource related to the recipient. How does spam appears in blogs ? Through the comments' body and commentator's URL. Stuffing the Spammers! I'm really, truly fed up with spam. Every day when the spam arrives and Norton Security moves it into the Norton Anti-spam folder of my Outlook email client, I wonder how anyone can be so incredibly stupid as to waste their time sending me such garbage. Dont Give the Spammers Your Address From Your Page Spammers get email addresses from web pages using programs called spiders which tour the internet capturing letter strings with the "@" character in it.Signing up for extra information at some sites and giving your email address can also get you a flood of unwanted mail, but although it feels like spam, it is, or started as, "Opt-in" email. The Cybermagic of Whitelists Before we start getting deep into the meat of this article it's important to explain some standard terminology to make sure the rest of this article makes sense.An IP address is a number which identifies your location on the Internet. Dont Look Spammy! We all hate spam and get way too much of it - agreed? Now that we have that out of the way it is important to realize that in everyone's zest to minimize their spam, we are deleting legitimate e-mails - and those e-mail could be YOUR business messages! Two factors are at play - not reviewing your trash before you empty it and sending e-mail with indicators that trip spam filters.When sending business e-mail, it is critical that you make certain efforts so that your e-mail will not be inadvertently, incorrectly perceived as spam. How to Fight Back BEFORE Youre Falsely Accused of Spam A friend of mine received a chilling email message from his ISP the other day. Someone had reported him as sending SPAM and the ISP warned that an additional SPAM complaint would result in losing his hosting service - period. Customers Demand Internet Privacy .. Wiki Reek-y Havoc The Vandals are coming! And this time they're after your wallets.It's a new form of insidious spam and like its inbred email cousin, it's staggeringly stupid. What Is Spam? If you've been around the interenet any length of time then you probably know what spam is. However, if you're new to the internet you might be asking yourself the question "What is Spam?"The best place to begin would be to explain to you exactly what spam mail is. Challenge Response Spam Filters Explained As the flood of spam increases end users are looking for new and more efficient solutions to block spam. In turn software developers are knocking themselves out trying to come up with the killer app that will stop spam forever. FTC Botches Fight on SPAM, Microsoft Takes Over the Battle While the Federal Trade Commission is busy fighting over definitions of "What is SPAM;" Microsoft and Bill Gates are taking it to the enemy. Today Microsoft announced another case and legal action, which is being taken against a spammer who is in Germany. Phishing for an Identity Phishing is rapidly becoming on the largest threats to your personal, financial, and emotional wellbeing. No I am not talking about Saturday afternoons out on the boat with your grandfather, listening to stories that being with "When I was your age?"-now while these probably conjure up horrific childhood memories of such stores, they in no way come close to the horror felt by victims of Phishing. Junk Mail Works! Junk mail works.Why does it work?How does it work?These are very important questions. Is Email Dying? 2004 was really a year when the whole subject of email and spam has been at the forefront of the minds of internet marketers.The anti Spam legislation has had more than the desired effect. Take Back Control of Your Inbox: Eliminate Annoying and Potentially Harmful E-mails Are you tired of spam stealing your time, your money, your bandwidth and your hard disc space?The time you devote each day to sort and delete spam from your inbox could be put to much better use. In the European Union alone, the working hours employees are spending on sorting and deleting spam is costing the companies and estimated 10 billion euros every year! By manually sorting out spam after it has reached your inbox you are loosing time and money, as well as bandwidth and space.
|
ChicagoAnimation's Acquisitions: Market Polls - 1pennyStock.com
Sponsors: Paving | VTL's | Religious Statues
